I'm so done with it. First of all, you get sent so many potential matches it becomes overwhelming to wade through them all and contact those who look interesting. Then you have the process of getting to know someone (which you don't really, at least I don't feel like I do), wait for them to respond, answer, wait again, by the time this has happened it been weeks and you forget what this person is even about, and most of the ones who look even semi-dateable to you don't respond, delete you, lose interest, whatever. And every day there are more and more that they all become a blur and everyone starts to seem the same.... Maybe I'm being too stubborn about this part of my life, but I always thought that I would meet someone through circumstances in my life, like work or interests or friends and family. We meet, share mutual interest, date, and if it works out, great, if it doesn't, then we move on. I did not think it would be THIS COMPLICATED to find a boyfriend in my twenties. I did not think I would be one of hundreds of potential females to be siphoned through and judged. I did not think meeting someone entailed being put in a prioritized list of "interested" after which based on an absurd amount of pre-determined steps I might, someday, at some point, meet this person face to face. I did not imagine myself looking at hundreds of different profiles and then having to decide which ones looked good, trying to figure who are my top, who is next if those don't pan out, all the while knowing that these guys are thinking the same thing about me.
Maybe I'm being immature or living in la la land, but I thought I would meet someone naturally, the old-fashioned way. Online dating feels so forced and contrived to me. I want the meeting of the love of my life to be happenstance. I want to feel special and not like a cow put up to auction. And I don't want to have to see men that way either.
I'm a huge reader, and perhaps I let fiction ruin my reality. Perhaps the belief that the right man will just pop up in my life one day is a delusion. I never thought I would have to go out seeking love. Am I arrogant in believing that love should come to me?
I have been told that it's my own fault that I'm single, that my attitude towards love will result in my remaining single. I tried online dating to force myself into a different perspective, but I still find myself holding onto my original ideals. My lack of success so far in the online dating scene seems to affirm this. That, or I have a really bad profile.