horrible thoughts I should just keep to myself but feel compelled to share

Your kid may be cute now, but it'll just grow up to be an asshole like everyone else.

Wow that is NOT a cute baby. Maybe the whole ugly duckling/swan thing will work out for it one day...I hope.

Fat or pregnant?

Out of my way! Or it's an elbow to the gut! (not that I would ever do that....that's just...mean!)

God doesn't exist! (then laugh maniacally inside my head).

If your goal in wearing that was to resemble someone who'd like to be paid for sex, you've succeeded.

I have a lot more, but they are way meaner and I've probably offended enough people already. Wait...no one reads this but me. Nevermind!