Typical conversation with my roommate John when he gets home from work:
John (walking in the door): Slacker!
Me (sitting on couch in front of TV): Whatever...you suck
J (walking into my room): What is this gay shit you're watching? Probably porno-
Me: Shut up! You're gay-
J: You're a gay
M: No, you're a gay
J (walking into his room): A complete waste of Netflix!
M: Kiss my ass!
J: You better watch it, woman, or it'll be the stairs for you
M (turning to my cat): Lando, attack!
L (sitting on bed, eyes slightly squinting in that "you deign to address me mortal" look that all cats have mastered): ...
M: Lando! Bite! Slash! Claw!
L: Mrow
The apartment is quiet for a moment.
J (from his bedroom): Hey Amanda-
M: What?
J: Shut up!
M: Suck it.
J(Throws books, pencils and ever-present 25-cent notebook journal into a backpack, throws on dark green Carhart jacket and shoves dark-blue, faded, Colorado Avalanche hat on head): I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving.
M: Good. Leave. I don't want you here anyway
J: Slacker! (closes and locks door)
M: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Apartment is quiet again.
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