Monday, December 8, 2008

random bs observations

Ok so I am in a pissy mood (what's new) and feel the need to mock others in order to make me feel better about myself.

1. So Saturday night we are taking the subway and these two girls get on. They are about in their early to mid twenties and obviously dressed for a night of getting trashed at bars. Girl #1 looks like this: Black, knee-high, scrunchy fake leather boots with a one-inch heel, black tights, jewel-green shirt (couldn't tell the style), black peacoat, gold hoop earrings, blond hair pulled back in a half-ponytail, small Coach purse: black-on-dark-grey, decorated with trademark Coach "C's."

Girl #2 looks like this: Black, knee high, scrunchy fake leather black boots, black leggings, jewel-purple shirt, black peacoat, gold hoop earrings, blondish hair (highlights growing out) pulled back in a half-ponytail, small Coach purse: beige-on-dark-brown, decorated with trademark Coach "Cs."

WTF????

These girls aren't twins. They don't look alike, beside both having blond hair (well, one was really light brown with grown-out highlights). The only difference in their attire was that they were wearing different colored shirts, had different textured bottoms on, and had slightly different styles of Coach purses.

Is there something wrong with me that, as a New York resident for the past two years, and a near-daily subway commuter, I consider this display to be one of the most horrific and disturbing.

And just so I'm not being discriminorty to partying Paris Hilton clones, I was recently in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (the hipster capital of the world), and was sneering at all the skinny-jeans-tucked- into- high -boots -or- with- Chucks, funky -scarf -and -hat- wearing, I'm-paying-2000 a month-for-a-studio, going-to-see-some-band-you've-never-heard-of...people. whew. Didn't end that one too well. But you get the point. I'm also a giant hyprocrite, because I own a pair of Chucks. But I wasn't wearing them at the time, and I hate skinny jeans (can we say camel-toe, or moose knuckle), and wearing boots over pants makes my legs look short. Besides all that, I am still not cool enough to live in Williamsburg. Nor am I popular enough to be going out to a bunch of bars in NYC on a Saturday night. Thus I must make myself feel better by mocking others, if that hasn't been blatanly obvious. But I dither-

On Mondays I take the bus up to Rockland County, and on the way back the traffic gets really shitty going into the Lincoln tunnel. Lucky for me, I get to ride on the bus with the reckless, crazy driver who doesn't give a shit. It's so fucking awesome. Every Monday night, my appreciation for him goes up more and more. The fact that he gets me home in roughly an hour in rush hour traffic is a true feat. I don't care that he cuts off everyone, bulldozes past small vehichles, careens through Manhattan, racing up West 34th St. honking and cutting off taxis. He gets me in Port Authority and off the goddamn bus in half the time I would be with any other driver. I think I might even have to give him the title of "best bus driver ever."

Two more things and then I'll stop

On the N train coming home, this lady got on who was having trouble walking and was using a cane. There were two youngish men sitting down near to where she was standing and neither of them got up to give her his seat. A young Asian girl ended up giving up her seat for this poor lady. I just have to say, to those two men: You are despicable.

This will probably just prove how psycho I really am. I was sitting in this little Chinese food place waiting for my order, and this teenage guy got up to use the bathroom. On his way back to his table, he kinda strutted back and looked pointedly at me for a few seconds a couple of times. And all I could think of at the time was, "Don't say anything, little boy. I will destroy you. I will fucking destroy you."

Ok I'm good now

1 comment:

Andrew R said...

bus drivers need a little recklessness. the best one here looks like the marlboro man, but with long hair.