Babies babies and more babies

So I really don't want to sound like I'm unappreciatvie of my friends or that I'm not happy for them in anyway, but since no one really reads this anyway I probably won't offend anyone.

The thing is, I'm am really sick of hearing about babies, and anything and everything to do with them.

Part of it is that the majority of my friends either have babies or are pregnant right now, so I'm now left out of a HUGE part of their lives and experiences. Since you can really have no idea what it's like to have children unless you do, I have nothing to contribute or add to the conversation on this experience. And since having a child alters your life experience in every way, and that the experience becomes central to everything you do, it is an experience that my girlfriends of course are going to mainly talk about when we catch up. So I can't offer any understanding or advice for them in their lives anymore, or come back with any stories about my experiences, because I don't have them.

Then there's the fact that the media is completely obsessed with famous women/celebrities/media whores being pregnant and that's virtually the only image or story or headline you see about famous women anymore. It sometimes seems like that's the only experience that is important for women anymore, at least according to the media. I find that kind of sad...but I also don't want to in any way diminish what mothers do because it's an important role for women and a role that is very difficult.

And of course being left out or feeling like you're not part of the "club" of new mommies also bothers me because I can't complain about my life being busy or hard, or act like anything I do is all that important because it will never be compared to having a baby. Add that to the fact that for the past decade I have watched (for the most part, happily) and participated in most of my girlfriends' "milestone" moments of happiness...achievements in school, and weddings and having babies. I haven't got any milestones of my own, and selfishly I sometimes think, "when's it my turn? I've never had great or exciting news to share with anyone. No one has ever come to any celebration or event in honor of me."  And well, thoughts like that just sound so pathetic and ungrateful....but they're there.

I've talked to a couple of friends and my mother about my negative feelings attached with anything and everything baby, and they're main response is, why don't you change it? Have a baby. Like it's that simple. I didn't choose not to have kids. My life circumstances have resulted in me not having them.  And while it may be simple for some women to go out and hookup with someone or get  into to a relationship with someone and not worry about or even think/plan about using protection or controlling that part of their lives, I'm not that girl.

So I really don't know what to do. There's really nothing I can do. I'm just not part of the club. I must find some other aspect of my female identity to feel positive and accomplished about instead of the whole mom thing. Because that ain't happening. Not now, and maybe not ever.

Snowstorm

Oh the weather outside is weather.
Remember that classic movie line? Well people need to start taking it more seriously. Guess what? It's going to snow in the winter. WHO CARES? Everywhere I have lived, every time even small amount of snow is predicted, people start acting like it's 2012 and Armageddon's happening in the morning. You think after YEARS and YEARS of snowfall during the wintertime, people would be fairly proficient in dealing with this phenomenon. But no, every year when it snows you've got people acting like it's the first time anything like this has ever happened.  You've got people crowding the grocery stores and hardware stores, which leads me to ask:  has anyone in this country outside of Alaska been snowed in their houses for more than a few days, to warrant stocking up on extra supplies?  And I'm sorry, but if those poor theater workers and restaurant employees can get to work and  face crowds of people bored out of their minds after being stuck inside on a snow day,  then you probably could have gone to work, too. 


PS: The TV news is dumb.

TSA measures

So many people out there are outraged at the new TSA security procedures. I can't say I agree with the new measures completely, but not for the reasons that most of the whiners and haters portrayed on the news hate them. My question would be: are these measures the most effective at preventing terrorist acts on planes? Are there better methods? But until we get these answers, I'm okay with the body scanners.  I don't feel violated by them. I'm not looking foward to them, mind you. And I am sad that in order to fly we have to be subjected to all of this stuff.

But I'd like to add, to the overweight, 40-something lady who was bitching about the body scanners on the news, the who said "the only people who get to see me naked are my husband and my doctor." Let me tell you, lady, that I highly doubt any TSA agent is getting turned on by the sight our your headless, lumpy, saggy image. And your husband and doctor may GET to see you naked, but honestly, in both instances, I doubt it's by choice.  I'm really not as concerned with TSA agents inappropriately reacting to peoples' body scans. Seriously, people need to quit flattering themselves. As far as the pat downs are concerned,  most people get pat downs to get into clubs and  concerts and big public events, and no one has expressed outrage over this. I've never heard anyone say, "Those goddammed bouncers at the club were violating my rights!" or "How dare the security guards at the Cowboys game search me! My rights are violated!!"

A lot of the arguments against body scanners and pat downs remind me of arguments about why people don't want gays out in the military or why they try and argue about why they don't like gays in their vicinity. Most of the reasons are: "I'm straight and don't need to be ogled or hit on by gays. It makes me uncomfortable."
Quite flattering yourself again there, hoss. You really think a gay dude wants you? Doubtful. Even if you are hot stuff, which in most cases, I seriously doubt (quick aside, has anyone else noticed that there a very few attractive men in comparison to attractive women out there? Most women could be described as pretty, with a few on either side of the spectrum, but most guys are pretty much average..anywhoo), the fact that you are so homophobic is probably a huge turnoff to them...oh and the fact that you're STRAIGHT!

If you really are concerned that TSA agents have endless boners and are basically paid molesters, then by all means don't fly. The effectiveness of these new measures certainly need to be tested and additional methods and means of preventing terrorists getting onto planes need to be explored. But acting as if these measures are sexual or "dirty" in any way is just childish. It also proves that many of us tend to sexualize nudity (or in this case, implied nudity) and touching, which to me, implies unhealthy and shameful conceptions of our own body images.
By all means, go ahead and bitch about it. That's something our country just loves to do. All I'm asking is to bitch about these measures for less silly reasons.

horrible thoughts I should just keep to myself but feel compelled to share

Your kid may be cute now, but it'll just grow up to be an asshole like everyone else.

Wow that is NOT a cute baby. Maybe the whole ugly duckling/swan thing will work out for it one day...I hope.

Fat or pregnant?

Out of my way! Or it's an elbow to the gut! (not that I would ever do that....that's just...mean!)

God doesn't exist! (then laugh maniacally inside my head).

If your goal in wearing that was to resemble someone who'd like to be paid for sex, you've succeeded.

I have a lot more, but they are way meaner and I've probably offended enough people already. Wait...no one reads this but me. Nevermind! 

Best book covers ever!

why do I have a cat?

I say this because my lovely animal that is supposed to bring me joy and comfort, and allows me to say silly and inane things to him in a high-pitched annoying voice, and who loves me unconditionally (as long as I feed him haha), decided to throw up in my bed this morning. I'm assuming people who have children think this a lot, as kids are more destructive and messy than cats. I remember when I was about 3 or 4 waking up in the middle of the night, walking to my parents room, and throwing up all over their bed. Hmmm, karma perhaps?
On a totally different subject, my upstairs neighbors are really irritating. I just heard the guy laugh loudly and thought "quiet, you." When we moved in our apartment, the upstairs apartment also had a couple living there, and they were really sweet and friendly. The guy would even help me bring heavy stuff up to my door. Sadly, they moved and the new one came in. While we rarely heard our previous upstairs neighbors, we constantly hear the new ones. We hear them stomping across the floor, scraping chairs loudly, yanking open drawers, and god knows what else. I don't understand.
The other night the neighbors were being particularly hippo-ish and Tom yelled up at the ceiling "shut up cows!" I hope they didn't hear me but seriously, are you people bowling up there? Maybe one of you is OCD and has to constantly rearrange furniture?

the not-as-young, not-so-single, still bitter

Now that I'm approaching..ahem...30..ugh....I feel that I can no longer refer to myself as young. Youth is that window between 14 and 29, in my opinion. Sure, at 30 you may still look young (I am still pretty arrogant about the fact that I look about 22...kind of a bitchy thing to brag about but oh well), but you've got "adult" pretty much stamped on your ass at this age. I think the hardest part about turning 30 will be trying not to compare myself to my peers who have actual adult things like houses and children and such, or what some people like to term "accomplishments."
Not being single anymore is really fun too, and reading back, some of my "I'll never find someone" remarks seem a little melodramatic and silly. Never is just a word that shouldn't be used in those contexts.
My inappropriate use of the word "never" reminds me of another time, in the first year I moved to NYC, when I was walking with some out-of-town friends through Times Square. The experience brought together everything I hated about NYC: humidity, heat, noisy crowds, and lack of personal space. As we dodged around yet another group of people who decided to stop and gawk, I said "I'm never coming to Times Square again. I hate this place!"
Of course, I go there all the time, mainly to see movies. Its a great place to meet people because the location is so central, and they've got two huge movie theaters right across the street from each other. Of course I'm going to be seeing movies there.
I'm still pretty bitter, mainly about the same stuff..media bs, general disappointment in humanity, continued disgust with much of what pop culture has to offer these days. But I'm sure I'll get to that soon. Or maybe not. Being angry alot is not fun. Sometimes I just block all the negativity that exists in our society and have to focus on the things I like, otherwise I feel like my head might explode-